Tuesday, July 26, 2011

WHY IT IS VERY DANGEROUS TO BE EATING GRASS IN KENYA TODAY

In Kenya today it is very dangerous to be caught  eating grass because many people will assume a wizard has worked his magic on you because you stole your neighbours chicken,bag of maize or goat.Worse you could have milked your neighbours cow at night  to assuage the pangs of hunger your children may have been feeling and supernatural powers picked you out as the culprit.

What is more likely to happen if you are seen by your fellow citizens eating grass is that they will either rain kicks and blows on you mercillessly.Pray to God  that the police are nearby and rescue you before you are quicly dispatched to the pearly gates of heaven or the rusty gates of hell.In Kenya today to be caught eating grass is a cardinal sin that points to the fact that someone cast a spell on you for helping yourself to things that did not belong to you.

After seeing the number of people who have been turned into grass eating men(why are there no women) i have come to the conclusion that we do not need the endless number of law enforcement bodies or even police officers on our payroll.We need to employ more wizards.
Can you imagine the number of people who would be caught outside their offices chewing on the monocotyledonous green plant of the gramineae family?maybe this would be the easiest way to catch the men and women who have been fiddling with the funds meant for free primary education.It would even save the head of the Kenya anti corruption body a lot of heartache and talk because he has to wait for the kleptomaniacs to surrender their ill gotten wealth and offer them amnesty.And we all know this is going to end up being an exercise in futility or so i think,Kenyans who get caught with their hands in the cookie jar are more fond of claiming that they would rather die as they gorge themselves on the cookies and are never afraid of getting caught .

We would be provide much needed job opportunities in a stagnating economy that is all but tanking with the rise in fuel and food prices because we would be using the services of wizards who would be otherwise occupied advertising their services in the backstreets of major towns.Their clients also operate like they are  in a cloak and dagger movie because none will ever admit they have sought supernatural powers to heal broken marriages,get financial success or increase political clout or catch a wayward spouse.Engaging the services of these men and women would mean that their services are recognized and the government could proceed to tax them and we would not have to turn ourselves into beggars of donor funding.


It may also be a good idea to engage them in the services of tracking who has stolen bags of relief food  and where they have been transported to and turning the said cereals into pebbles as they leave the warehouses .This would ensure that no one ever attempts to steal food meant for starving Kenyans.


It is my honest opinion that we have  left some stones unturned in our pursuit of the thieves who help themselves to public funds and wizards are the last piece in the puzzle of public fund embezzlement.After all the more developed countries employ the services of psychics in solving murder and kidnap cases.It is time we put the services of these gifted men and women to better use,instead of chasing after wayward spouses and vanquishing enemies let us use them in solving the biggest curse to befall this country-corruption.

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